“Search
me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if
there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24
That was a v-e-r-y dangerous request
that David made. What was he thinking? Did he really want God to look so
closely at his life (not like God knew everything about him intimately
already)? Did he really want his offenses (sins) pointed out to him? The answers
to all of these are, “Yes” he did. His faith was strong enough for him to
realize (1) that God was going to be merciful and kind, not condescending and
demeaning, (2) that sin is truly evil and toxic to true happiness and
contentment, and (3) that he would never be free spiritually as long his sins
remained unrecognized and unanswered for. Check out David’s Psalms of
repentance (32, 51) and note how stressed and ashamed he was before dealing with his sin, and how
relieved and tranquil he was after
facing and dealing with them.
This request to be tested by God is
really only dangerous when our faith is weak or when we really don’t want to
deal with our sin and be rid of it. Or even if we refuse to come to grips with
how damaging and destructive our misdeeds are to our longevity and happiness. The
person that is striving to walk by faith and fulfill the divine purpose God
created him/her for knows that success is only possible when all obstacles and
hindrances are overcome and avoided. Until that happens, we will constantly be
dogged and defeated by our shame and guilt, and life will just seem to be
filled with challenges, annoyances, problems, difficulties, and worries.
So then, David’s sentiment in this
Psalm is the very medicine our sick soul needs to be healed. Just like a doctor
must help us find and eradicate the tumors or viruses that are making us ill,
God’s Spirit within us is helping us to discover, define, and remove the sins,
harmful attitudes, greedy thoughts, misguided goals, and all other ungodly
behaviors so that we can begin to heal spiritually. Because, you see, until we
are aware of all sin, especially “secret” sin, we won’t be able to be rid of any
of it and it will continue to spring up and haunt and defeat us (and usually at
the most inopportune times).
It is mandatory therefore that we
are open and available at all times to be tested by God. Allow Him to search
your heart diligently and carefully and to know your anxious thoughts so He can
make you aware of them and help you to disable them. Mature your faith to the
point where you are comfortable with The Holy Spirit pointing out your offenses
so you can avoid them in the future and continue on the way that leads to
everlasting life.
God wants you to understand that you
will never be really free and truly alive until ALL sin is done away with – completely.
Doug